Mom. Boss. Employee. Oh, and partner (sorry babe, I promise I didn’t forget you). Those are just the major overarching titles I wear. Within those titles are a million other little things like teacher, servant, cook, cleaner, cheerleader, nurse, therapist, listener, sounding board, expert, learner, observer, leader, healer – and so many more.
It can easily all be too much. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I experience a full range of emotions for a day before 7am. I’m expected to do what others would deem impossible. But I do. If you’re a mom, you do, too.
It can easily all be too much. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I experience a full range of emotions for a day before 7am. I’m expected to do what others would deem impossible. But I do. If you’re a mom, you do, too.
How though, do we deal with people who just don’t live in that world? Or even those that do, but put extra (and often unnecessary) stress on us?
First of all, I have my moment of feeling like shit. Yep. I said that. You can let yourself feel the things, mama. It’s ok.
Then, I recognize it for what it is. If someone else is adding stress to me, it’s for one of two reasons.
1. It’s not real.
2. It’s something going on within them.
That’s it. Easy.
What do I mean by it’s not real? The stress – you’re putting it on yourself due to some made up expectation you’re not meeting in your own head. Which then leads to a cycle of guilt and eventually overwhelm.
What about when it is real? Listen, and listen closely. Anyone who intentionally (whether they recognize it or not is also on them) adds stress to your life, doesn’t know how to deal with a situation appropriately. You see, when people are stressed out, they feel that same guilt and overwhelm I mentioned above. When they don’t have the proper coping mechanisms, they pass that stress on to you. Whether it’s your kids, your spouse, your boss. Doesn’t matter.
Once I identify where it’s coming from, I ask myself a couple more questions. Like I said to our 13 year old the other day, “Will this matter in 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 years?”. If the answer is no, then make like Elsa and let it go. If the answer is yes, then it might be something worth fighting for.
There are always going to be people and things that add stress to your life. Leave it at the door, and remember what is important. I don’t know a single person that has said they wished they’d spent more time at work. Not a single one. So, when you’re juggling all the things, and you’re about to lose your shit, remember what matters the most. Them. The people who, at the end of it all, are going to be there for you. With you. Supporting you. Needing you. Loving you. And you’ll be right there doing the same for them, because that, is what matters.
So let them put on their own shoes, even if it means you’ll be late. Let them carry their own bag, and give you an extra kiss, and ask you 85 million questions. If you don’t, you know you’ll be in the wrong mindset all day anyway, after you yell, scold, and drag them to the car. Your day might as well be done at that point, right? All you’re thinking about is that stress, you’re on edge all day and you’re counting down the minutes until you see them again. Be damned if you’re a stepparent and their other parent is picking them up that day.
We all feel it. The pressure, whether it’s said or not. At the end of the day, make the choice that will leave the world a better place. Our kids are the future. Our families are what you have at the end of the day. They are the reason we do what we do. It could always be worse, and tomorrow will be better.
We all feel it. The pressure, whether it’s said or not. At the end of the day, make the choice that will leave the world a better place. Our kids are the future. Our families are what you have at the end of the day. They are the reason we do what we do. It could always be worse, and tomorrow will be better.
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