3 Ways to know you’re dealing with a toxic relationship in your life
Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying the person you’re dealing with is toxic or “bad”. I’m saying that the relationship between you is simply not good for either of you anymore. This could be friends, family, or more extreme, a significant other.

1. You feel stuck with this person.
That’s to say that if you met this person today, you wouldn’t chose this person to be a part of your life. You may feel like “well, they’ve been around so long, that I’m just stuck with them.” That is just something that we tell ourselves so we don’t have to deal with the problem.

2. You’re constantly walking on eggshells around this person.
You should be able to speak your mind around your people. They should understand, if they truly know you and your heart that you telling the truth is not a judgement. You can speak your mind without fear of being taken the wrong way, with misplaced implied intentions. The people closest to you, that truly know you the best, always come from love. So if you’re finding yourself filtering your words so not to anger them, the relationship might be toxic. That’s not how healthy relationships work. They involve saying the hard things, too.

3. They are constantly dragging you down.
You’re in a good mood – until you speak to them. All the time. It’s a constant. I’m not talking about this person going through a bad time. We make exception and sit with them in those times. It’s when it’s ALWAYS something. Constant drama, constantly being offended, maybe they’ve constantly talked shit behind your back to friends and family but never to your face…but let’s be honest, you still know. You hear about it.

We all go through hard times. That’s a fact of life and something that makes us human and brings us together, links us through our own humanity. If someone in your life is constantly doing the things mentioned or making you feel like the above though, that is something completely different. It may be time to wish the relationship well, thank it for serving the purpose it has in your life and moving on. Never wish harm on that person. They are good just as you are good. It’s just that this chapter is done. Be proud of the role the person played in your story and wish for them the very best, as they will hopefully do for you.

If you've read this far, and you're a mom wanting more, jump in my free group, Exhausted to Energized moms. There's a free, 3-day mindset challenge in there to get you started.

If you're simply looking for more things to read, check out my mommy mindset reading guide, for a list of my favorite books around mindset, relationships, and well - life!

Stay inspired, and when you aren't, please know that you're not alone.

All the love,
Bryn J

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Meet Bryn

 
Constantly busy. Constantly there for others and doing what I thought (real or assumed) as expected of me.

In February of 2009 my life changed forever. Actually, it started years prior- 2003 maybe, with my mom’s original diagnosis. On that February day and the days that followed I found myself questioning everything. “Should I stay in school? Are my younger siblings doing ok? My dad CANNOT take care of himself. Should I go home to make sure they’re all alright?” Those are just a fraction of the things I asked myself.

Anger. I also remember feeling so angry. “How could she? Why us? Why me? Why now, when I’m about to graduate college, my sister is about to graduate high school and my brother just starting high school?” Don’t even get me started on my sister’s graduation party and the anxiety over making it as perfect as possible for her despite the huge sadness that accompanied it all.

One day I’ll be gone. I don’t know when or how – none of us do. Something random could take me out tomorrow (not morbid it’s just life). I do know this – I will do whatever I can to delay that truth. I will do whatever I can in the here and now to make my kids a little more prepared.

People always preach “self-care”. I do at times, too. For me it comes from a deep ache. It comes from a place I don’t want anyone else to find themselves in.

It took a lot of grief, lessons in patience, a marriage, a divorce, another marriage and navigating mothering through it all, now with step-kids under my wings also. Step-kids that are adopted to their parents and have undergone more hurt than they deserve. Step-kids that have taught me so much about love and hurt.

Love and hurt. We can’t have one without the other, can we? I found myself lost. I was completely lost in motherhood that I began neglecting my own needs and the needs of my first marriage – hence why there was a second one (I didn’t say this was a pretty story – just a real one).

Now I’m slowly rebuilding my world while focusing on my health – all my health – mental and physical. Equally important.

My journey is far from over, but I've chose to share my journey both as a recounting and remembering for me, but more importantly, so maybe it will save someone else a bit of pain in their own journey – or at least let you know you’re not alone.

If you’ve read this far, welcome. Also, thank you. I’m happy to have you in this space with me.

The best part, is that I know this is only the beginning.


Have you spent so much time trying to care for everyone else that you feel like you're loosing yourself? Have you been feeling run down, or that you've lost yourself in motherhood? Are you feeling uninspired?

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Come join our community and find your inspiration again so that you can get back to living a fulfilling life with those that need you most. It's free!

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