The Woman Who Never Met a Stranger
Effie. Fee. Mom. Grandma. No matter what name she went by in your life, there’s one thing every person I’ve ever talked with called her – tough. Born in the small town of Port Jervis, NY and then moving to Rochester, NY. The oldest child of Muriel and Francis McCullough’s seven children, working hard was an undebatable truth. Effie married Thomas Glitch on July 21, 1956 and they raised their family, to include five children, in Victor, NY. Tom passed away in 1983, leaving Effie with two of their children still living at home.

Effie was the owner and operator of the Donut Hole diner in downtown Victor for over 20 years. Everyone that knew her described her as hard working, and tough. In fact, I (her granddaughter) once was afforded a waitressing job because the owner knew how hard my grandma worked. It wasn’t until her oldest daughter, Brenda, was very sick that she finally walked out of the Donut Hole’s doors for the last time, despite a myriad of health concerns herself. She was a very social person, who truly never met a stranger. Within minutes of meeting someone new she would be in deep conversation with the person. She was a true connector in that she would find something she had in common with anyone and everyone she spoke to. Of course, she had plenty of life experience to speak from. This is what drove the atmosphere of the Donut Hole. A melting pot for people from all walks of life. Topics of conversation ranged from politics, to astrology, and life, to the telling of dirty jokes and joking fun.

Effie was a woman who lived a life of service to her family and her friends. Despite leaving the restaurant business, Effie was still always cooking up something in the kitchen and was always called upon for family gatherings and celebrations to make the macaroni salad, because it was hands down the best. She was so proud of her family. She never missed an opportunity to tout to her friends about what her kids and grandkids were up to, or to insist we bring our musical instruments out and put on a “concert” for her and whoever else she would insist needed to hear us play.

Christmas. Christmas was always a huge deal to Effie. She loved the decorations – the tree, the poinsettias, homemade crafts. In fact, during her years at the Donut Hole she hosted an annual Christmas craft show where she proudly showed off her crafty friends by having them all set up in her restaurant to sell their creations for the holidays. Christmas Eve was routinely hosted at her home, which also was always a birthday celebration for her son Brian, because nobody is ever too grown up to have a birthday party thrown by their mom, as was Christmas morning breakfast. This Christmas was different, but it was done in true Effie fashion. She was terribly ill, and the plan was to have Christmas at her home. She had other plans. She passed away Christmas Eve morning, in her home. Effie now can finally not work so hard, and rest. Effie leaves a legacy of hard work, passion, and a truly beautiful family with an attitude of “if you mess with one of us, you get us all”. We walk tall because we are proud of where we came from, and we owe that largely to Effie Glitch. We love you Effie, and will miss you every day until we meet again.

1 Comment

  1. What a wonderful story about her!!! Love ,funny ,a great story !!!

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Meet Bryn

 
Constantly busy. Constantly there for others and doing what I thought (real or assumed) as expected of me.

In February of 2009 my life changed forever. Actually, it started years prior- 2003 maybe, with my mom’s original diagnosis. On that February day and the days that followed I found myself questioning everything. “Should I stay in school? Are my younger siblings doing ok? My dad CANNOT take care of himself. Should I go home to make sure they’re all alright?” Those are just a fraction of the things I asked myself.

Anger. I also remember feeling so angry. “How could she? Why us? Why me? Why now, when I’m about to graduate college, my sister is about to graduate high school and my brother just starting high school?” Don’t even get me started on my sister’s graduation party and the anxiety over making it as perfect as possible for her despite the huge sadness that accompanied it all.

One day I’ll be gone. I don’t know when or how – none of us do. Something random could take me out tomorrow (not morbid it’s just life). I do know this – I will do whatever I can to delay that truth. I will do whatever I can in the here and now to make my kids a little more prepared.

People always preach “self-care”. I do at times, too. For me it comes from a deep ache. It comes from a place I don’t want anyone else to find themselves in.

It took a lot of grief, lessons in patience, a marriage, a divorce, another marriage and navigating mothering through it all, now with step-kids under my wings also. Step-kids that are adopted to their parents and have undergone more hurt than they deserve. Step-kids that have taught me so much about love and hurt.

Love and hurt. We can’t have one without the other, can we? I found myself lost. I was completely lost in motherhood that I began neglecting my own needs and the needs of my first marriage – hence why there was a second one (I didn’t say this was a pretty story – just a real one).

Now I’m slowly rebuilding my world while focusing on my health – all my health – mental and physical. Equally important.

My journey is far from over, but I've chose to share my journey both as a recounting and remembering for me, but more importantly, so maybe it will save someone else a bit of pain in their own journey – or at least let you know you’re not alone.

If you’ve read this far, welcome. Also, thank you. I’m happy to have you in this space with me.

The best part, is that I know this is only the beginning.


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