My Favorite thing to do in my Down Time
First off, as a mom, you know that true downtime is sacred and few and far between. However, when I do find that quiet time amongst the day to day chaos there are a few things I fit in. One of my favorites? Reading.

Ever since I can remember I have loved to read. When I was a little girl, my mom would tell me to do in and clean my room. I’d always start with my bookshelf. It would start with me organizing the things on the top, picking up anything that had fallen off, putting back books that had found their way to other areas of my room. However eventually I’d find one I missed. One I hadn’t read or hadn’t read in a while. I’d open it up, amongst my still messy room and start reading. I’d get completely lost in the book. Sometimes my legs, folded under me, would fall asleep and I wouldn’t even notice. Eventually, my mom would sense the quietness. Like most parents, this would spark worry. Worry that I was doing something I shouldn’t be. Too much quiet in a house with kids is rarely a good sign, right? She’d find me reading, in the middle of my still messy room. Sometimes I’d even be asleep. Almost every night before bed I would read. Sometimes I’d use a book light. Most of the time however, I would strain my eyes until I could no longer see the words on the page.

This continued for a long time. Once I graduated college I did a lot less reading. It felt like I didn’t have the time. However, I picked it back up once amazon prime came into my life. I’d use all my points on my amazon card for books. Books about running (another love of mine), books with insane plot twists, and page turning thrillers. I wanted all of it. I’ve always loved a good story. Especially a personal one.
It’s still true today. Eventually I found myself really yearning for the little things in life that had brought me so much joy in the past. Running, reading, hiking, being outside, working out. I made a list of these things and started very intentionally incorporating them into my routine. My every day.

The books I started reading became more about self-development and self-improvement. As I became a mom, and I had someone to worry about other than myself because they depended on me for everything, it became so important to me to set boundaries for her, for myself so that I could show up for her, and for my family. As I took time for myself, I became a version of myself that I actually enjoyed. One that was strong enough to be the mother my daughter needed.

Reading a book may not be your thing. However, I encourage you to find that thing. YOUR thing, and to do more of it. If you’re a mom, and you love to read like I do, you can get my mama mindset reading guide here.

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Meet Bryn

 
Constantly busy. Constantly there for others and doing what I thought (real or assumed) as expected of me.

In February of 2009 my life changed forever. Actually, it started years prior- 2003 maybe, with my mom’s original diagnosis. On that February day and the days that followed I found myself questioning everything. “Should I stay in school? Are my younger siblings doing ok? My dad CANNOT take care of himself. Should I go home to make sure they’re all alright?” Those are just a fraction of the things I asked myself.

Anger. I also remember feeling so angry. “How could she? Why us? Why me? Why now, when I’m about to graduate college, my sister is about to graduate high school and my brother just starting high school?” Don’t even get me started on my sister’s graduation party and the anxiety over making it as perfect as possible for her despite the huge sadness that accompanied it all.

One day I’ll be gone. I don’t know when or how – none of us do. Something random could take me out tomorrow (not morbid it’s just life). I do know this – I will do whatever I can to delay that truth. I will do whatever I can in the here and now to make my kids a little more prepared.

People always preach “self-care”. I do at times, too. For me it comes from a deep ache. It comes from a place I don’t want anyone else to find themselves in.

It took a lot of grief, lessons in patience, a marriage, a divorce, another marriage and navigating mothering through it all, now with step-kids under my wings also. Step-kids that are adopted to their parents and have undergone more hurt than they deserve. Step-kids that have taught me so much about love and hurt.

Love and hurt. We can’t have one without the other, can we? I found myself lost. I was completely lost in motherhood that I began neglecting my own needs and the needs of my first marriage – hence why there was a second one (I didn’t say this was a pretty story – just a real one).

Now I’m slowly rebuilding my world while focusing on my health – all my health – mental and physical. Equally important.

My journey is far from over, but I've chose to share my journey both as a recounting and remembering for me, but more importantly, so maybe it will save someone else a bit of pain in their own journey – or at least let you know you’re not alone.

If you’ve read this far, welcome. Also, thank you. I’m happy to have you in this space with me.

The best part, is that I know this is only the beginning.


Have you spent so much time trying to care for everyone else that you feel like you're loosing yourself? Have you been feeling run down, or that you've lost yourself in motherhood? Are you feeling uninspired?

It's time to start doing the things that fill you up. It's time to make simple changes to feel like yourself outside of motherhood so that you can then be the best mother possible to your kids. They deserve you at your best.

Come join our community and find your inspiration again so that you can get back to living a fulfilling life with those that need you most. It's free!

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