Don’t worry, I’m not going to suggest brain surgery. But have you ever considered how much of what we believe, or feel is related to our mindset? To what we are wired to believe? Now, I am a DNA analyst, but I’m not just talking DNA here. I’m talking what we are taught. How our experiences shape us.
Perception is reality, so they say. What if to feel a different way you only needed to alter your perception?
Ok. Seriously, I know what you’re thinking. This might sound a bit “woo woo”, but is it really? Consider the geographical differences between people. How they say certain words, what they believe, what their upbringing has taught them.
What if everything we believed was a result of that? Well, here’s the thing, it is.
How can that help you? If you’re facing a mental block, if you’re feeling like you can’t possibly do more, what if all you had to do is change your mindset to change your reality? Here are 3 things you can do to change your mindset.
Perception is reality, so they say. What if to feel a different way you only needed to alter your perception?
Ok. Seriously, I know what you’re thinking. This might sound a bit “woo woo”, but is it really? Consider the geographical differences between people. How they say certain words, what they believe, what their upbringing has taught them.
What if everything we believed was a result of that? Well, here’s the thing, it is.
How can that help you? If you’re facing a mental block, if you’re feeling like you can’t possibly do more, what if all you had to do is change your mindset to change your reality? Here are 3 things you can do to change your mindset.
- This step you’ve likely already taken care of if you’re reading this. Recognize that your mindset around something needs to change. Whether it’s your mindset around money, career, relationships…all of the above? Recognize that it needs to change.
- Spell out what your limiting beliefs are. Do you believe you don’t have time? Do you fear running out of something? Do you operate from a place of lack, rather than a place of abundance? The thing you’re lacking – the satisfaction, the love, the money – is able to be replenished. It can change at any moment. Self-sabotage is when we let our fears creep in and rather than welcoming and recognizing fear, we try to suppress it. We cannot run from fear. Fear keeps us safe and alive. We must live with and honor our fear. When we do that, fear takes a back seat, and so do those behaviors like self-sabotage, which often comes from a lack mindset.
- Reality. Why do we hold onto those limiting beliefs? What is holding us back? What do we need to stop believing about ourselves in order to change our belief system and therefore our mindset?
Changing your mindset takes work. It takes continuous work. If you think about it though, so does self-sabotage and lack. Like a ton of work. You are constantly rebuilding the old you instead of growing. IS that what you want for you or your family? These processes have a lingering affect as they are passed on to your kids, and then to their kids – unless one person decides to do something different. That might seem like a lot to bear, but honestly, is passing on those same self-sabotaging behaviors to those we love the most even more to bear?
We really dive into mindset in my group Exhausted to Energized Moms. There's even a free 3-day mindset challenge! Not in there yet? It's FREE! Join here.
First things first...
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Some of these links are affiliate links, which means when you click on them, I may receive a small commission when you purchase the product! How cool is that? You get the product and also support my business, which then allows me to keep bringing you more free content (and maybe a little wine money too). I ONLY RECOMMEND products that I have personally used and love. Thank you so much for your support!
Ok, so whether you’ve been here for a while or you’re just reading for the first time, there are a couple things you should know. 1. I’m a mom and stepmom. 2. I hate fluff and bullshit. 3. I love to save a penny (see #1).
Another thing about me is I love using plant based, natural products in my home. One of those products is my laundry detergent. I mean, think about it – our skin is our largest organ. Within seconds of a chemical being placed on our skin it is absorbed into our bloodstream.
That being said, it makes perfect sense to start with your laundry detergent and household cleaners if you’re ready to move toward better products for our health. My laundry detergent of choice, is the Thieves line offered by Young Living. At over $30 a bottle this can make you want to put on the breaks and crawl back to the stuff filled with synthetic fragrance (which give me such a headache). Stop. Right. There.
Grab my hack below on how you can stretch your laundry detergent to stretch your budget. Like many other detergents on the market, the Thieves laundry detergent is highly concentrated. So, I split mine into thirds in order to stretch it further, without sacrifice the cleaning power.
Rather watch a video? You can see how super simple this money saving hack on my YouTube channel here.
What you will need:
- 1 bottle Thieves laundry detergent
- Thieves household cleaner concentrate (you will need about 6 capfuls for this recipe, so save the rest for a tub scrub, an all-purpose spray, and store the rest for refills and grass stained knees!)
- Purification essential oil
- Lavender essential oil
- 3 pump bottles. I use these bottles from Amazon.
- warm water
Directions:
- Split the bottle of Thieves laundry detergent between the 3 bottles
- Add 2 capfuls of Thieves household cleaner (I recommend using a funnel for this…I didn’t use it last time and well, if you check out my video you can see my mess)
- Add 20 drops of Purification essential oil to each bottle
- Add 20 drops of Lavender essential oil to each bottle
- Slowly fill the bottles with warm water, being sure to leave room for the caps
- Cap the bottles with the pumps
- GENTLY shake the bottles until mixed
That’s it! Use about 2 pumps per full size load of laundry. I tend to not pay attention and probably add 3-4, but that’s not necessary. You should gently mix the detergent before use since the different parts will separate some over time.
This gives my family of five, about nine months of detergent, doing about one load every day. If you need to grab some of the products listed above and you don’t have an account or don’t already have someone to help you, shoot me a message below and I’d be happy to help!
First off, as a mom, you know that true downtime is sacred and few and far between. However, when I do find that quiet time amongst the day to day chaos there are a few things I fit in. One of my favorites? Reading.
Ever since I can remember I have loved to read. When I was a little girl, my mom would tell me to do in and clean my room. I’d always start with my bookshelf. It would start with me organizing the things on the top, picking up anything that had fallen off, putting back books that had found their way to other areas of my room. However eventually I’d find one I missed. One I hadn’t read or hadn’t read in a while. I’d open it up, amongst my still messy room and start reading. I’d get completely lost in the book. Sometimes my legs, folded under me, would fall asleep and I wouldn’t even notice. Eventually, my mom would sense the quietness. Like most parents, this would spark worry. Worry that I was doing something I shouldn’t be. Too much quiet in a house with kids is rarely a good sign, right? She’d find me reading, in the middle of my still messy room. Sometimes I’d even be asleep. Almost every night before bed I would read. Sometimes I’d use a book light. Most of the time however, I would strain my eyes until I could no longer see the words on the page.
This continued for a long time. Once I graduated college I did a lot less reading. It felt like I didn’t have the time. However, I picked it back up once amazon prime came into my life. I’d use all my points on my amazon card for books. Books about running (another love of mine), books with insane plot twists, and page turning thrillers. I wanted all of it. I’ve always loved a good story. Especially a personal one.
It’s still true today. Eventually I found myself really yearning for the little things in life that had brought me so much joy in the past. Running, reading, hiking, being outside, working out. I made a list of these things and started very intentionally incorporating them into my routine. My every day.
The books I started reading became more about self-development and self-improvement. As I became a mom, and I had someone to worry about other than myself because they depended on me for everything, it became so important to me to set boundaries for her, for myself so that I could show up for her, and for my family. As I took time for myself, I became a version of myself that I actually enjoyed. One that was strong enough to be the mother my daughter needed.
Reading a book may not be your thing. However, I encourage you to find that thing. YOUR thing, and to do more of it. If you’re a mom, and you love to read like I do, you can get my mama mindset reading guide here.
Ever since I can remember I have loved to read. When I was a little girl, my mom would tell me to do in and clean my room. I’d always start with my bookshelf. It would start with me organizing the things on the top, picking up anything that had fallen off, putting back books that had found their way to other areas of my room. However eventually I’d find one I missed. One I hadn’t read or hadn’t read in a while. I’d open it up, amongst my still messy room and start reading. I’d get completely lost in the book. Sometimes my legs, folded under me, would fall asleep and I wouldn’t even notice. Eventually, my mom would sense the quietness. Like most parents, this would spark worry. Worry that I was doing something I shouldn’t be. Too much quiet in a house with kids is rarely a good sign, right? She’d find me reading, in the middle of my still messy room. Sometimes I’d even be asleep. Almost every night before bed I would read. Sometimes I’d use a book light. Most of the time however, I would strain my eyes until I could no longer see the words on the page.
This continued for a long time. Once I graduated college I did a lot less reading. It felt like I didn’t have the time. However, I picked it back up once amazon prime came into my life. I’d use all my points on my amazon card for books. Books about running (another love of mine), books with insane plot twists, and page turning thrillers. I wanted all of it. I’ve always loved a good story. Especially a personal one.
It’s still true today. Eventually I found myself really yearning for the little things in life that had brought me so much joy in the past. Running, reading, hiking, being outside, working out. I made a list of these things and started very intentionally incorporating them into my routine. My every day.
The books I started reading became more about self-development and self-improvement. As I became a mom, and I had someone to worry about other than myself because they depended on me for everything, it became so important to me to set boundaries for her, for myself so that I could show up for her, and for my family. As I took time for myself, I became a version of myself that I actually enjoyed. One that was strong enough to be the mother my daughter needed.
Reading a book may not be your thing. However, I encourage you to find that thing. YOUR thing, and to do more of it. If you’re a mom, and you love to read like I do, you can get my mama mindset reading guide here.
If you want even more mama content, be sure you get in my free group! You can do that here.
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It seems, over the last few years that the phrase “live your best life” has become somewhat of a trend, for “do whatever you want if it makes you happy”. While this isn’t a bad sentiment, we all know we sometimes have to do things we don’t particularly enjoy. However, if you really step back and think about what you would feel like and what your world would look like if you were truly “living your best life”, I’m sure it wouldn’t include raking up credit card debt, gaining access weight, or binge watching Netflix (we’ve had enough of that in 2020, don’t you think?). The trick is, creating a world where you already FEEL the way you would “living your best life”. Want less stress? Want more time with those you love? Follow these six tips to get you started.
1. Wake up at a reasonable hour. Now, I’m not saying your can’t have the occasional sleep in. I’m not saying you need to wake up at 4am to live your best life. I’m saying by getting up and going at a reasonable time, you can accomplish those things on your to do list so much more easily because you simply have more of what everyone craves- time. Long night up with a little one? Try to be consistent with your sleep. Sleep in a bit so you can get whatever your average is. Ask for help if needed
2. Do something for you. Seriously. Do it. I had been chronically not good at this over the years, I was constantly doing for everyone else, except myself. Whether it's reading, getting outside, writing, alone time, meditation, going for a run or a walk, do it for nobody but you. Fill your cup, so that you can then pour into those that need you. When we don't do something for just ourselves we end up stressed out, feel underappreciated, and then become miserable and snap at those we love the most. If you love reading, you can grab my free mama mindset reading guide here.
3. Move your body. Whether it’s chasing the kids, going for a walk, a yoga class, running, it matters very little on HOW you move your body. Just do it. Moving my body instantly lifts my mood and makes me a better human being (your partner and kids will thank you for it).
4. Slow down. Seriously. Does everything on your “to do” list HAVE to get dome today? Guilt is based on an unmet expectation we have set for ourselves. We tend to try to cram too much into our days and that leads to overwhelm and feelings of failure when, our expectations were unreasonable to begin with.
5. Plan. The age old line “if you fail to plan then you plan to fail”. When you have a plan, it breaks down your goals, your day, into smaller bite sized chunks. When we break things down in this way, it seriously helps us avoid feelings of overwhelm by giving us a sense of accomplishment along the way.
6. Celebrate. Celebrate everything. Even in a small way. Kept the tiny humans alive? Good for you! Got the kids to bed on time? Good for you! Seriously, if we track all the things we DID accomplish, it is much easier to not get down about the things we didn’t.
1. Wake up at a reasonable hour. Now, I’m not saying your can’t have the occasional sleep in. I’m not saying you need to wake up at 4am to live your best life. I’m saying by getting up and going at a reasonable time, you can accomplish those things on your to do list so much more easily because you simply have more of what everyone craves- time. Long night up with a little one? Try to be consistent with your sleep. Sleep in a bit so you can get whatever your average is. Ask for help if needed
2. Do something for you. Seriously. Do it. I had been chronically not good at this over the years, I was constantly doing for everyone else, except myself. Whether it's reading, getting outside, writing, alone time, meditation, going for a run or a walk, do it for nobody but you. Fill your cup, so that you can then pour into those that need you. When we don't do something for just ourselves we end up stressed out, feel underappreciated, and then become miserable and snap at those we love the most. If you love reading, you can grab my free mama mindset reading guide here.
3. Move your body. Whether it’s chasing the kids, going for a walk, a yoga class, running, it matters very little on HOW you move your body. Just do it. Moving my body instantly lifts my mood and makes me a better human being (your partner and kids will thank you for it).
4. Slow down. Seriously. Does everything on your “to do” list HAVE to get dome today? Guilt is based on an unmet expectation we have set for ourselves. We tend to try to cram too much into our days and that leads to overwhelm and feelings of failure when, our expectations were unreasonable to begin with.
5. Plan. The age old line “if you fail to plan then you plan to fail”. When you have a plan, it breaks down your goals, your day, into smaller bite sized chunks. When we break things down in this way, it seriously helps us avoid feelings of overwhelm by giving us a sense of accomplishment along the way.
6. Celebrate. Celebrate everything. Even in a small way. Kept the tiny humans alive? Good for you! Got the kids to bed on time? Good for you! Seriously, if we track all the things we DID accomplish, it is much easier to not get down about the things we didn’t.
Once you start truly taking yourself seriously, and realize that the only way you can take care of your family is by taking care of you, your can't unsee it. Life improves. Mood improves. Stress decreases. That perpetual "mom guilt" and overwhelm lessen, and you're able to be fully present for those that need you the most.
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Some days as a mom, it is hard just to keep the tiny humans alive. When you zoom out and look at the big picture, we are raising them to be well adjusted, productive members of society. Somebody’s employee, boss, friend, spouse. Think about 10-20 years from now. Will you even be alive to see how it all turned out? Most of you are probably rolling your eyes and thinking “Yeah well duh, isn’t this a bit extreme?” My mom would’ve said the same (where do you think I got my eye roll from anyway?), but she’s not. She is not here because she didn’t take care of herself. Of course, no matter what we do, tomorrow is never guaranteed, but why roll the dice and increase those chances?
I was a junior in high school when she got the diagnosis. Skin cancer. Treatable. Surgery, radiation, long drives for those radiation treatments. In my junior year of high school, our basketball team was great. My mom was at most games, always cheering loudly. Sectional finals. We had made it to sectional finals and were playing in a fairly large arena. The biggest stage any of us small town kids had played on for sure. There was so much excitement going on. My mom had something weird going on and I had no idea. There was some kind of spot on her skin, I guess.
My mom hadn’t been to her GYN in years. My dad kept urging her to go. Finally, he made her go. Literally dialed the phone and handed it to her. He knew something wasn’t right. She did, too. She was afraid. What she should’ve been afraid of, was not being around to see us grow up – not to miss a couple of basketball games.
She had skin cancer, and luckily, a very treatable type. Fast forward through surgery, radiation, and an outpouring of supportive friends and family, and finally things were seeming to get back to normal again. I had graduated high school, graduated with a 2 year college degree, and was moving on the finish my Bachelor’s degree. My sister was entering her junior year of high school, and my brother was starting 8th grade.
I was a junior in high school when she got the diagnosis. Skin cancer. Treatable. Surgery, radiation, long drives for those radiation treatments. In my junior year of high school, our basketball team was great. My mom was at most games, always cheering loudly. Sectional finals. We had made it to sectional finals and were playing in a fairly large arena. The biggest stage any of us small town kids had played on for sure. There was so much excitement going on. My mom had something weird going on and I had no idea. There was some kind of spot on her skin, I guess.
My mom hadn’t been to her GYN in years. My dad kept urging her to go. Finally, he made her go. Literally dialed the phone and handed it to her. He knew something wasn’t right. She did, too. She was afraid. What she should’ve been afraid of, was not being around to see us grow up – not to miss a couple of basketball games.
She had skin cancer, and luckily, a very treatable type. Fast forward through surgery, radiation, and an outpouring of supportive friends and family, and finally things were seeming to get back to normal again. I had graduated high school, graduated with a 2 year college degree, and was moving on the finish my Bachelor’s degree. My sister was entering her junior year of high school, and my brother was starting 8th grade.
I’m not exactly sure how long my mom knew something wasn’t right again. This time is still a grey area of memories for me because I was no longer living at home. I got a phone call from my mom while I was on a family trip with my then boyfriend and his family. My mom had gone back to the doctor. Her cancer was back. She didn’t want me to worry and said she was going to fight this like she had before. My mom was, and still is the toughest person I’ve ever known, and she was my mom. Moms are invincible.
My mom didn’t tell many people, including her own mother. Eventually they told her that the cancer was terminal. It was spread to her lungs. It was some time after this that she finally told us kids the news. This moment I remember so clearly. All five of us, standing in the kitchen. My mom standing on the stairs leading up to the main floor of the house so that she was slightly looking up to us. Looking up like – for the first time in our lives – she needed our strength, rather than the other way around. The gravity of her words hit immediately, and tears welled up in my eyes. Then, while most moms might pull their babies close to them and cry, my mom, because she was different – to the point and realistic – stopped us in our tracks. She put a finger up and pointed at us sharply. “No”, she said. “We are not doing this. We are not going to be sad. We are not crying. I am going to fight for as long as I can, and we are going to be happy.”
She waited a long time to tell her family and friends. Those closest to her knew something wasn’t right and began asking questions. Out of loyalty to my mother, us kids didn’t tell them either. When pressed I would simply respond in head nods of “yes, you should be concerned”, and “no, it’s not good”. In December of 2007, the doctors gave her about 6 months to live. She died in February of 2008, about one week after she attended my sister’s high school senior night basketball game. She left a husband of nearly 25 years, and 3 kids of the ages 20, 17, and 14. We were left to navigate this world without a mom.
I won’t act like “poor me” because I am far from the only person I know to be in the “dead parent at a young age” club. However, I write this and tell this story so that maybe one less kid will have to be a part of this shitty club. Nothing is guaranteed. I know that I could die tomorrow in a car wreck, or have some crazy genetic thing that changes everything, but that is not the point. The point is this: if I can prevent myself from contracting disease or, if through early detection and with other good health practices in place, I can be here longer for my kids, then why wouldn’t I?
For me, this all didn’t fully sink in until I became a mom. Until part of me was living and breathing outside of me and depended on and trusted me with everything. So please mamas, I know it’s hard to find the time. I understand feeling like there are not enough hours in the day. Take care of your health; whatever part has been lacking – mind, body, or soul – like your life depends on it. You’re right, your kids do need you, but they need you for longer than just right now.
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