We all know that motherhood is no joke. It’s so easy to look at other moms and think “wow, she’s really got it all together”. The Truth though? None of us have it “all together”. None of us truly knew how to be a mom before we became one, so remember that next time you’re scrolling, and you start playing the comparison game.
The hardest thing I’ve had to learn as a mom? No, it wasn’t that we are all out here winging it and not really know what we were doing. It was to LET GO. To let go of things we can’t control…and even some of what we can. I don’t talk about my divorce much because quite frankly, I don’t let that define me. I’m not “a divorced mom”, no, I’m just a mom. However, through going through a divorce and then starting a relationship with someone that has children as well, I’ve had to learn to let go a lot – like a lot a lot.
Now, rather than throwing myself into a full-on anxiety attack, I use the tools that I’ve learned to cope. No, I’m not talking about my glass of wine (that I do enjoy by the way). I’m talking about thinking things through and asking myself a few questions.
Questions like: Is this going to matter in 5 years? If the answer is no, then I ask “Is this even going to matter in five minutes”. If the answer to both of these is know, then I allow myself to let it go right then and there. If the answer is yes then I ask myself WHY. You see, most of the time, us mamas want to control our kid’s worlds because we think we know best. And we do know best. However, we don’t always know BETTER. What I’m saying is, there is more than one way to parent, more than one way to do things that will still get you the same result. The result being every parent’s objective to raise good, happy, and heathy, thriving human beings. That’s really all there is, right?
That being said, there are absolutely times where lines need to be drawn either for real safety concerns, or even for your own sanity. Everyone needs boundaries.
However, I challenge you, the next time you’re about to lose your shit because things aren’t being done “your way” as yourself the questions above. Sacrificing your sanity is not worth being “right”. It’s just not.
In a blended family, there are many different dynamics where conflict can occur. Whether in co-parenting with our children’s other parent or a disagreement between my fiancé, things can pop up in an instant. It would be quite easy to spend days bitter and angry and arguing over, when you really think about it, things that are so trivial. We all have the same goal, as I said before. As long as our families and our kids are happy, and healthy and thriving, the logistics really don’t matter.
Nobody ever said someone failed as a parent because they let their kid have candy, or because they had different bedtime rules, or because they ate dinner in front of the television. So mama, when you are at your wits end. When your partner or co-parent isn’t hearing you, I urge you to ask yourself whether it’s worth letting that issue steal your joy, and at what cost? At the cost of your anger being redirected at your child? At the cost of your child hearing you say something negative about someone they love?
Let go mama. It’s your ego talking, we all have them. But please hear me out and make like Elsa. Let it go. Your mind, your soul, and your heart will thank you for it.
The hardest thing I’ve had to learn as a mom? No, it wasn’t that we are all out here winging it and not really know what we were doing. It was to LET GO. To let go of things we can’t control…and even some of what we can. I don’t talk about my divorce much because quite frankly, I don’t let that define me. I’m not “a divorced mom”, no, I’m just a mom. However, through going through a divorce and then starting a relationship with someone that has children as well, I’ve had to learn to let go a lot – like a lot a lot.
Now, rather than throwing myself into a full-on anxiety attack, I use the tools that I’ve learned to cope. No, I’m not talking about my glass of wine (that I do enjoy by the way). I’m talking about thinking things through and asking myself a few questions.
Questions like: Is this going to matter in 5 years? If the answer is no, then I ask “Is this even going to matter in five minutes”. If the answer to both of these is know, then I allow myself to let it go right then and there. If the answer is yes then I ask myself WHY. You see, most of the time, us mamas want to control our kid’s worlds because we think we know best. And we do know best. However, we don’t always know BETTER. What I’m saying is, there is more than one way to parent, more than one way to do things that will still get you the same result. The result being every parent’s objective to raise good, happy, and heathy, thriving human beings. That’s really all there is, right?
That being said, there are absolutely times where lines need to be drawn either for real safety concerns, or even for your own sanity. Everyone needs boundaries.
However, I challenge you, the next time you’re about to lose your shit because things aren’t being done “your way” as yourself the questions above. Sacrificing your sanity is not worth being “right”. It’s just not.
In a blended family, there are many different dynamics where conflict can occur. Whether in co-parenting with our children’s other parent or a disagreement between my fiancé, things can pop up in an instant. It would be quite easy to spend days bitter and angry and arguing over, when you really think about it, things that are so trivial. We all have the same goal, as I said before. As long as our families and our kids are happy, and healthy and thriving, the logistics really don’t matter.
Nobody ever said someone failed as a parent because they let their kid have candy, or because they had different bedtime rules, or because they ate dinner in front of the television. So mama, when you are at your wits end. When your partner or co-parent isn’t hearing you, I urge you to ask yourself whether it’s worth letting that issue steal your joy, and at what cost? At the cost of your anger being redirected at your child? At the cost of your child hearing you say something negative about someone they love?
Let go mama. It’s your ego talking, we all have them. But please hear me out and make like Elsa. Let it go. Your mind, your soul, and your heart will thank you for it.
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